I can be quite a ditherer. For example, I had a number of possible titles for today’s post: The Decision: Dumb or Discriminating? I Did It My Way. My Momentous Decision - though it’s momentous to no-one but me. In the end I plumped for one I thought described the situation the best. 

Sometimes, when a decision has to be taken, we’re torn between head and heart. The head, the sensible part of our brain, figures out the pros and cons, laying them out in front of us in neat columns. Logic dictates we assess the situation, weigh up which option is lacking and which one has the clear advantage. This is the practical, sane approach.

If you listen to your heart, you may disregard the apparent benefits because you hear a voice whispering in your mind that says this isn’t for you; or because the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and the voice isn’t speaking softly, it’s screaming in your ear.

Ideally our intellect and emotions should be in agreement when making serious decisions, but when they’re not, how do you decide? I’ve often found that my first gut reaction is the right one. It’s only later, when time has revealed the decision I made after listening to common sense was the wrong one, that I remember my initial response. 

The point I’m coming to in this round about manner is I’ve decided not to accept the publishing deal for two novels with Carina, the new digital publishing initiative from Harlequin. Carina is a digital first imprint – if your book does well, there’s the opportunity to have it published as a paperback. I’m very grateful to Carina, and to the editor with whom I dealt. 

In one sense, I could almost say, they're responsible for my decision because their offer showed me that somebody in the book selling business thought my work had potential, which galvanized me into action. But instead, of signing a contract, I’ve chosen to go the indie route and self-publish my novel.

The decision to reject an offer from an established publishing company with a vast ready-made market, editors, graphic artists, etc., wasn’t easy, and I’ve taken plenty of time. The positives of signing a contract appear, on paper, to outweigh the negatives. But I’ve gone with my intuition, and done what I believe is right for me.

One of the reasons for my decision is because I’m a Jill of all trades when it comes to genre, and Carina, like its parent, Harlequin, focuses on Romance. I am discovering a theme that runs through much of my writing, but want the freedom of choice. Which I’ll admit might well be the freedom to fail. Only time will tell. 

Promo alert for One Summer in Montmartre coming up!

A two stranded novel of love, loss and obsession:

Anna's marriage is unravelling, and she's lost in grief over the death of her son. When an artist’s love letter is found in the back of her favourite painting, she goes to Paris to research the affair. In Montmartre Anna is thrown together with Francois, whose help becomes invaluable, and she finds herself struggling to overcome her growing attraction to him.

Luc Marteille is a volatile artist attracted to the new Impressionist movement. Known as a devoted family man, he becomes obsessed with a young model, Hélène. Despite being engaged, Hélène is flattered by Luc's attentions, and develops feelings for him that could jeopardize her future. 

Connected by an artist's painting, though separated by time, conflicts between duty and desire weave a common thread throughout these two tales. 

ONE SUMMER IN MONTMARTRE, classified as commercial women’s fiction, is available on Amazon as an ebook at:

So as I sit here writing this post, I think I know exactly what skydiving feels like without even leaving my chair. Free fall is exhilarating, exciting, terrifying and I’m praying, begging and hoping for a soft landing. Writing and publishing this story has been both hard and fulfilling. My writing journey isn’t over, but I’ve crossed a line into new territory, and looking forward to the next challenge. 

Writing Update

This novel is the reason I started blogging, because self-publishing was always a serious option for me, and it goes without saying, I’d love it if you could check out my novel. I’ll try to follow the guidelines, and not constantly tweet and post self-promotional ads about the book, but as a writerpreneur, some advertising is part of the course, because if you throw a stone into the ocean, it sinks unless you offer support.

I’ll continue working on the outline for the second book in my paranormal trilogy, and then return to part one of the series, hoping to publish in October - aiming for Halloween! 

Today’s Haiku
misty curtains of
rain veil the sky drear light falls -
thirsty earth drinks deep

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(Please put the repetition of the link down to enthusiasm.)

Join me on Twitter at: teagankearney@modhaiku  

Thanks for visiting my blog, and please do leave a comment.
To all story lovers out there, good reading, and to those of you who write, good writing.

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